i admit, even as i write this, i still don't care that i'm fat. i think i'm depressed; i think i'm confused and confounded; i think i want things i can't readily decide to have (ie, a pregnancy). i have no control over what's going on in my life right now, and so, i eat.
BUT...but...i am writing. i feel that even if today still wasn't the day i started to regain peace with food, i am gearing up for peace. i am gearing up, and getting it out. if i don't feel these feelings and try to be patient with myself, i will never be ready.
i want to be ready. but when was the last time wanting something was enough?
About Me
- charmedgirl
- after 4 years of infertility, IVF, and a high-risk yet successful triplet pregnancy, we thought one baby girl created the old-fashioned way would be a piece of cake; that's not what happened. we miss you paige...stillborn at 40 weeks on her due date, 9.9.07.
1 comment:
I still don't really care either. I mean, I guess I do...but not as much as I should.
And the girl who ran, biked, lifted weights and thought her size 6 was enormous...is most likely gone for good! I would have rather died than look like I do now.
But what I look like, is what I look like...but I sure wish I could find that peace too.
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