daytwo

yesterday went quite well.

i kept thinking about my alive kids...here and now, about my last line yesterday. by the end of the day, i wasn't so anxious about not getting pregnant. by the time i got into bed, i was ok with how my life was right at that moment. which is good.

it also makes me feel really insane. it makes me feel like i have no idea what i want. which is good to realize, but i'm just so not used to that. i used to be so decisive, which is not to say i never changed my mind; i used to be so much less emotional about life decisions. even my frustrations with infertility were driven by totally rational lines of thinking. i had no kids, i wanted one. it was all so much simpler then.

i did well with my eating plan also. i had a 6oz yogurt and a fried egg for breakfast, a tuna sandwich on whole wheat for lunch, and homemade popcorn and chicken broth for dinner (i know, a little weird but i wasn't feeling that good).

for today, i plan to continue with the same plan of eating. three meals, nothing in-between but water and tea. i also need to clean this place up.